Freelance: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

From a very early age, I was a bookworm, reading voraciously on almost every subject. Nothing could keep me away from those precious words, and the worlds that existed within them.

As my friends discovered their boy bits, I was discovering great periodicals. For my 12th birthday, I got my first subscription: to Truck magazine.

Contributor Phil Llewellin (RIP Phil) was my hero. Phil’s Long Distance Diaries were road trip tales covering everything from glass hauliers bringing 12-metre panes to the UK from rural France, to Trans International Routiers running across the no-mans-land between London and Moscow, to million-mile Peterbilts hauling classic cars all across the USA. No matter what the journey, Phil was there, recounting every event with genuine enthusiasm and making gods of everyday blokes.

As Clarkson says in his foreword to Phil’s great book, The Road to Muckle Flugga: “Phil realised, even back then, that cars were dull. It was what you did with them that mattered.”

Because of Phil, I couldn’t wait to drive a truck. My schoolbooks were strewn with drawings of Kenworth K100 Aerodynes and Volvo Globetrotters. I’ve previously written about having one of the only bits of English homework I ever did in senior school read out in front of the class: the story of a Foden snowplough driver who rescues a couple trapped in a drift with the help of his trusty machine. The muse came straight from a feature I had read in Truck.

In 1986, I came to London for the summer, working for an organic ice cream company in Fulham. We made and sold our own ice cream, frozen yoghurt and brownies. For £123 a week, I delivered products to our shop in Harrods, and all over London, in my trusty 1-ton Bedford CF fridge van.

One day, our proper truck driver was ill, so I did his round in our Bedford TK. I ventured off-piste many times, eventually arriving back at base in receipt of record sales. The boss was over the moon, and immediately started talking about buying another truck, for me to use. It was then I realised: I wanted to be Phil, not the truck driver!

I harboured that desire for a long time: to write for a living, entertain readers like Phil did and get paid for it. Fear of flying always held me back: the notion that it won’t come together, or that I’m not as good as those already at it. There’s really only one way to find out, so I have resigned from my 10-year job with Glass’s Guide and am finally going to chase my dream.

As one of my American cousins said last night: “you’ve proved your talent, now show us your ambition.” It’s my new company motto!

Tagged as: My Writing, Porsche