I travelled to the May IB Midlands meet in the Landcruiser, as the kids were off to Eire with Mum, so needed a lift to the airport, and Tea Boy had picked up some drains for me that I had won on eBay, so I needed space to bring them home. The meet was a success as ever, loads of guys there having a craic and the table soon ran out of room. As last to leave, I took off from the pub with a satisfied feeling, only to find that suddenly evaporate as my headlights didn’t work.
I tried to drive down the local lanes on hazards and sidelights, and quickly realised that I would either die or be locked up if I attempted to make it the 35 miles home like this. I pulled into a filling station to see what we could do. Checking for the box of spares and tools in the boot, I remembered it had come out to make room for airport bags and drainage systems. Damn and blast!
I gathered the available tools – also known as my house keys – and set to work. What followed was a night of drama and excitement! Or at least what passes for drama and excitement to a 41 year-old part house husband who lives in the sticks.
Thankfully, my house keys have an emergency mini Swiss Army knife on them – BUY ONE NOW IF YOU DON’T HAVE ONE!! I would put an eBay link here if eBay hadn’t banned pocket knives. Anyway, I used the minipop-sized blade to cut the alarm aerial wire off and began hotwiring the headlights to the engine bay fusebox, using the LED torch built into the diminutive killing machine to help me. True to form, I soon blew the dipped beam bulbs and both available fuses and moved onto main beam instead. I eventually managed to wedge the rescue wire into a gap in the positive battery terminal with the front door key. There is a metaphor there somewhere about the importance of always keeping home close to hand, but I’m out of sufficient espresso to find it right now – my trusty Saeco Vienna bean-to-cup has been and copped it. Oh, Vienna!
Full Landcruiser floodlighting in the faces of oncoming rural road drivers went down well. As we approached Kenilworth, I jumped out and unhooked the spur, didn’t need a “park that there and walk home son” lecture at what was now almost 1am. Once past the sleepy castle and out of Kenny, it was full speed home on main beam all the way.
Fixing it that weekend was a challenge. Starting at the switch (which tested fine) I followed the loom across the dashboard and into the engine compartment via the passenger footwell. This is a big truck with lots of wires – what fun. I had snipped out a stray wire on the drivers’ side when installing the new alarm/gps/stereo: this had obviously been bypassing the break. Bodgers were here!
The tight curve of the chunky Toyota loom, and the ample amount of supplementary underbonnet crap made things very tight – wiring diagrams were little help in tracking down my lost volts. Eventually, I stripped enough out to find a place where one wire became three and it turned out to have broken at that point. I also found another break in wires for something else. The whole thing was sorted with a soldering iron and some Duraseal connectors, before being rewrapped in megatape and pasted in electrical protectant to stop the water getting in there in future. Two days well spent!
Fond memories of having to take the dash apart three times on the trot are fading now, so I am gearing up for doing the overdue service while the weather is still good. Must sandblast and powdercoat my replacement wheels too. Wonder what tech gremlins I can lure out of their hidey holes this time…
