The wife and kids head for Eire later today, off to top up on their accents. This means only one thing – man home alone (OK there is a small dog still on the premises, but I am unhibited by his presence).
The top ten habits of MHA in this house are simple:
Central heating will be off unless I need a second sweater on. More than one window will be open. Yes, even if there is a breeze.
The dishwasher may be used even when not rammed to the hilt, but still only once every three days.
Keys will be left on worktops. There will be no hanging up of keys. For the next four days, I will know where my keys are at all times.
Pork chops are on the menu.
The upstairs lights might not be switched on before 9PM. Curtains may remain open also.
TV watching is unlikely outside of mealtimes. The only Desperate Housewives here live down the street.
My towel will be found hanging in the bathroom.
Those cushions on the bed will be on holiday in one of the kids’ rooms.
Old family videos will be out of the cupboard around day three.
I’ll get a rush of DIY fervour, no more than 12 hours before I’m booked for the airport pickup. So there may be unfinished paintwork involved.
Home alone is recommended, if only for that first hour after they all come back.
Whaddya mean I left one out?
